I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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