i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
