you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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