i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
