even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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