Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
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And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
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My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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