We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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