yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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