you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
