***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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