Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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