singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
