69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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