Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Randomize
