can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
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dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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