I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Do you still have your period?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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