Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize