I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i just had sex bonerless
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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