Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
