Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
