Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
