We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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