i just snorted my name. best moment ever
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
