that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
