You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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