I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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