Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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