Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
this just has baby written all over it
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
