apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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