Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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