would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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