how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize