Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Every concussion has its silver lining
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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