There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize