State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
