You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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