Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize