Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
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i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
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I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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