his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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