He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
