I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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