bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
