I heard we made out
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
