i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
