Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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