I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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