i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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