dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I did not marry a roomba.
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