it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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