Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
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She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
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Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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