WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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