Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
no you cant smoke seaweed
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
