My room smells like vodka and shame
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
