okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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