A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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