ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
