I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She told me I should be a condom model.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize