Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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