I understand Curling. That high.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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