I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
