I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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