So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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